The process of dealing with remains has evolved over time. As generations went by, different changes have been made. Culture and religion also have varying thoughts on how the family should handle the remains.

Different Practices Then and Now
• During the Roman Empire, immediately after cremation, the remains are placed in an urn.
• Christians were not even allowed to do cremation not until it was legalized in 1963 by the Vatican.
• Until today, many of these religions still uphold the value of the body and that cremation is a violation of the people’s respect towards it.
• The Muslims and Orthodox Jews are some of the people that do not practice cremation.
• Most Catholics still bury the dead bodies even if cremation is already allowed.
• Roman Catholics that choose to cremate the body of their deceased loved one often keep the remains in a single place, usually in an urn in a chamber or at home.

Today, even if traditions still have an impact on the way the family deals with the remains, new practices have also been popular.
Wills

Because last wills and ethical wills are now available for people to make, the dead person will actually have a say on how he or she wants his remains will be kept or handled.

Without a will, the immediate family will be given the choice of deciding on what to do with the remains.
• Most families would keep a part of the remains in a cremation urn which they can bring home or keep in a columbarium.
• The rest of the ashes can be scattered in the favorite places of the deceased loved one.
• Usually, the ashes are scattered in a body of water like a river, a like or in the sea.
• If the family would want, the urn can actually be buried and a cemetery plot.
• A small portion of the remains can also be made into jewelry like bracelets and pendants.
• For those people who do not wish to keep any remains at home, a columbarium will be the best place to keep the remains.

Embraced by the Light
One of the books that they recently featured is ‘Embraced by the Light’ by Betty J. Eadie. What makes this book very interesting is the fact that the author, Betty Eadie claims to have experienced afterlife during her clinical death after a routine surgery.

Eadie recorded everything that she had undergone when her spirit separated from her human body. This is a great read that exudes love and compassion especially to family. And it intensifies the idea that death is naturally occurring and it should not be feared upon.

Planning a Celebration of Life
Another featured book is ‘Planning a Celebration of Life, A Simple Guide for Turning a Memorial Service into a Celebration of Life’ by Mary Hickey. This book is a great find especially for those who have recently lost a loved one and is planning the whole funeral service.

The format of the book is very simple and straight forward. It details a lot of creative ideas on how to celebrate the life of the deceased through the funeral service like making funeral poems.

Farewell, Godspeed
‘Farewell, Godspeed: The Greatest Eulogies of Our Time’ by Cyrus M. Copeland is also part of the list. This book is a great source of inspiring words and eulogies from different famous figures all throughout history.

It also shows a different perspective on how those late well-known personalities have influenced and shape the society today.

The Empty Chair
Another one on the list is ‘The Empty Chair: Handling Grief on Holidays and Special Occasions’ by Robert C. De Vries. This book is very good for people who had lost a loved one and are having difficulties coping specially during special occasions.

This book identifies that grief is normal but it also states different ways on how to get over the feeling of loss even after burial or direct cremation.

Ethical Wills
‘Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper’2nd ed. By Barry K. Baines is an easy read as well. The author of this book is a medical director so he is imparting his knowledge to those people who also want to create their own set of ethical wills.

Reasons in Sending Flowers
• Sending flowers for sympathy has been a tradition which is practiced for a long time now.
• Flowers can signify a person’s expression.
• Those blooms will be able to impart support to the family even without saying anything.

Choosing the right flowers to send to a mourning family is as challenging as buying flowers for a valentine. Flowers must be chosen carefully to convey the appropriate message of sympathy.

But before sending flowers, it is important to know the family’s wishes. Some families may opt for donation instead of flowers to cover cremation costs and funeral expenses. But nonetheless, no one can stop you from sending flowers too. When planning to send sympathy flowers, don’t hesitate to ask your local florists on what flowers and arrangements are appropriate for this.

Types of Sympathy Flowers
There are a few types of sympathy flowers for funerals. Flowers are usually found on top of the casket and there are also some arrangements at the bottom and at the sides. Usually, these flowers are provided by the family.
• Flower baskets
The usual types of flowers that friends and relatives can send are flower baskets. Flower baskets are great since they do not need a lot of maintenance. They are also very easy to transport and can stand on their own. When the family decides to do basic cremation, flower baskets will still be appropriate even if a casket is not present.
• Funeral sprays
These are also common during funerals. A cross is usually the shape of choice when it comes to these flower arrangements.
• Wreaths

These are great for funerals too. Wreaths can be place in the entrance of the funeral home or in either side of the casket. Just like funeral sprays, wreaths will need an easel or a stand to keep it upright.

Even after the funeral, families and friends can send a bouquet or a vase full of flowers to their home. There are a lot of designs to pick from. Include a simple note expressing your sympathy.

A memorial service is different from a funeral service. A funeral service is done before the funeral rights and the body is still present while a memorial service is done without the body of the loved one. If the body underwent basic cremation, the urn may be present during the service.

In planning a memorial service, these are the things that you have to bear in mind:
• You have to set the date and time. It could be weeks or months after the death.
• To save money and to add more impact to the service, some people conduct the memorial service during the first year death anniversary.
• Choose a venue for the service.
• Estimate the number of people who will be attending the event.
• Most memorial services are held in churches or community centers. Make sure that the venue is available on the date that you chose.
• Once the date and venue are set, make a guest list for the event.
• If you want a small and intimate memorial service, you can just choose to send out invitations to the family and close friends.
• If your late loved one was a public servant, you can just have an announcement printed on the newspaper.
• You can invite more people depending on how far you can stretch your budget.
• Make sure you inform guests ahead of time so that they can work around their busy schedules.
• Get someone to lead the service from the late person’s family members, clergymen or close friends.
• It is also good to involve the rest of the family in the planning process.
• Assign them to different errands like choosing funeral songs, flowers, guestbook attendants, candle lighters, ushers, readers, and speakers.
• Plan the program including the speakers, the songs, video clips and more.
• If a family member is a photographer, you can save money by not hiring an outside service for the photos.
• Also make sure that you order food and drinks for the event. Have people serve the food after the memorial service has ended.

If the departed left a will, then it is appropriate for the family to follow whatever is written in it. If he or she wanted to be cremated, then so be it. Cremation is noted to be cheaper than the traditional burial. There are families who keep the ashes of their loved one but there are those who want the remains to be buried. If basic cremation services are sought and the ashes will be buried, a cremation vault must be used.

Definition and Purpose

A cremation vault is a small enclosed apparatus that is made of marble, concrete, steel or durable plastic. The purpose of a cremation vault is to protect the urn where the ashes are kept once it is buried.

Things about Cremation Vault

• The cremation vault will be able to withstand harsh environment conditions to keep the ashes as pristine as possible.
• There are various kinds of cremation vaults available for families to choose from.
• The prices also vary depending on what type of material it is made of.
• Marble cremation vaults are slightly expensive but they are durable and there are a lot of colors to choose from.
• Some structural features also contribute to the varying of these vaults’ prices.
• Features, like steel lining interiors or waterproof coating may or may not be present in some cremation vaults.

When the family requests for a direct cremation and decides to have the ashes buried, cemetery officials would require a cremation vault to be used. This is not only to protect the ashes, but also to meet with city ordinances and laws regarding ash burials and to maintain the integrity of the cemetery grounds.

Cremation vaults can accommodate any budget since there are a lot of choices to choose from. If you do not wish to bury the ashes, then a cremation vault won’t be necessary.

These five stages run through the emotional state that almost every individual, dealing with bereavement or any form of loss, will experience at a certain point.

Here are the five stages:

• Denial. This is the first reaction an individual has after losing someone so dear. Initially, this is the phase when a person is in the state of shock and disbelieving that the event is really happening.
•  Anger. Why me? Why is this happening? The occurrence has initially been accepted and the person is angry about it. The feeling of anger is a form of defense-mechanism that people use to avoid fully admitting what has occurred.
• Bargaining. This is the stage when a person tries to make a deal or agreement with God.
• Depression. After accepting the reality, anger has gone, and admitted that what have been lost can never be reinstated, a person begins to battle with the feeling of depression. This is perhaps the longest stage that individuals will be into.
• Acceptance. This is now the stage of facing the reality and accepting the fact that losing someone is part of existence and cannot be avoided.

After accepting the reality, people would still have the tendency to remember sad memories and that’s just normal. For them to feel better they sometimes touch the cremation urn containing the ashes of the departed loved one or they wear a cremation jewelry that represents someone who used to be with them.